In the last couple of years, her hair has gotten VERY thick and course, and VERY curly. It is almost impossible to brush through, even with the best detangler. And because it is very hard to brush, and because she is has a very senstitive head, not to mention an assortement of sensory issues that most likely play into that, brushing her hair has become something I dread more than anything. I love how it looks when it's brushed, but doing it has to be the worst thing about being her mom. She is screaming and biting entire time, I usually end up screaming and pretty much crying by the time we are done. It's no fun at all.
So there are two more reasons why her long red hair are a problem: they prevent her from doing two very important things that I know she could do on her own: brushing and doing her own hair, and taking a shower or bath. Her long thick hair makes it impossible for her to do these things. These are key to being an independent adult. And she's almost 11. I am beginning to worry that we are running out of time. So I tried to think of how she might be able to take a shower all by herself. And it hit me one day: buy one of those handheld shower heads!! A few days ago, I got a nice one at Lowe's, and this morning we tried it out. I really thought this would be the answer to her showering problems.
Well, so far, I am beginning to see it isn't, just yet, anyway. She liked holding the showerhead, but had trouble aiming it on the right places (again, related to sensory issues), and had the most trouble aiming it at her head. I think the only way she will learn is to have me in there with her. So we will be approaching that very soon. But this morning, as I was brushing her very thick, tangly, curly hair yet again, listening to the screams that echoed through the entire house, me on the verge of tears, it hit me: I need to cut her hair! A LOT! Not only will it help solve the shower problem, but it will also solve the brushing her hair problem.
Oh, but to cut that beautiful hair! I am so hesitant, and torn! Can I really do it? What do you think I should do? I am taking a poll: should I cut this girl's trademark red hair much shorter so she can learn important life skills? Or should I continue on this way, drowning in showers and screams and tantrums, for the sake of her lovely hair? Tell me what you would do!! I need input.
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You already have the answer, Kera. Neither of you should have to go through that everyday. The life skills she would gain are WAY more valuable than any amount of hair. Cut it, even if she doesn't want you to, it's what's best for her & you. One less thing to fight, scream, deal with, the better. When she gets older & better equipped to handle her own hair, then maybe she can let it grow. Easy fix here. =)
ReplyDeleteI know, I know, but it really is hard to do! I've cut it a bit shorter over the years, but never really short. I do feel like I have no other choice, though.
DeleteThat is tough! I've gone through the same thing with Anna. I've tried so many different detanglers, and none really work. She is also very tender-headed and we both hate hair-brushing time! She gets so much attention for her hair that she wants to keep it long though. But she is younger, so it's not too big a deal that I still help her with it in the shower and brush it for her. Does Juliana want her hair cut? Have you talked to her about it? It might be worth it to her to get it cut so she won't have tu suffer through the pain. Do you use leave-in conditioner after she showers? That seems to help us as much as anything! And her hair will still be beautifully red, even if it's shorter. It might be just what she needs to start being more independent, then once she's got a good handle on it, she can always grow it out again.
ReplyDeleteI think she is okay with me cutting it, but it would still need to be long enough to get into a ponytail, because she usually doesn't like it in her face. I am bad at doing leave-in conditioner because the whole shower/bath time already takes long enough!
DeleteI saw on FB that you cut it...that would have been my vote. Her hair will still be lovely and thick and curly and red, no matter what length. Peace and life skills are way more important than hair length. Good call, mama!
ReplyDeleteYep, we did, and life is good! Her hair reminds me of yours when you had it short.
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